Ok i know i didn't finish the last story but this was pretty funny. Begin story here: It was a pretty normal afternoon. I came back from playing ball with Cody (my 1 1/2 year old German Shepherd mix) and decided to clean the kitchen after i made his food mix. So i made his food and started cleaning. As i was cleaning i noticed a clump of rice on the floor that i had placed for him to eat, but had since forgotten about and he left uneaten. I looked up at the carpet there were little white maggot looking items all over the rug. I lifted my left shoe and confirmed my fear. I had stepped in the rice and tracked it throughout the house. I walk to the back porch and open the door. Cody runs to the door expecting that he's going out. We have come a little way and i'm begining to trust him so i let him out with me, off his leash. Now my goal on the back proch was to bang the rice out of the bottom of my shoes so that i could continue cleaning, what i got was quite different. Cody stood at the top of the stairs staring into the bushes in the direction of the bottom of the stairs. He looked as he always does, standing upright he's body and tail frozen like he is tracking prey, but this time was different. What normally ensues is a tug on his leash and Cody returning to my side, this time Cody was a bolt of lighting. I have never seen anything move this fast in my whole entire friggin life. Now this dog i adopted from an animal shelter, he is more like a skeleton of a dog than a dog, he looks very emaciated. But this skeleton was able to clear twenty steps a total of one whole flight from a second floor porch in one single bound. Two weeks ago this dog was afraid of stairs, the same way he is afraid of linoliuem now he's hurdling 20 feet down stairs. So Cody gets away from me and i panic. I run into the house trying to come up with which toy is his favorite. I grab a tennis ball and run out the front door, hoping that he hasn't gotten to far. He just did laps around the condo's occasionally running into the parking lot behind the complex and towards the contruciton site, which did nothing more than make me run imagery of him getting hit by a car through my head. But I layed down on the ground in true come play with me fashion and he came running over wanting to play. I had him caught. We went back inside. But i had to come to a realization. This dog is not who i think he is! He's been holding out on me BIG TIME. I need to do something to extract all this energy from him. I have tried taking him running with me, but it doesn't even make a dent, he walks the whole time. And i run pretty fast. So i decided to take it to the next level. Iw as going to attempt riding my bike while he ran along side me. This is a very treacherous task. I have attempted this at many different points in my life with many different dogs. There has been little success in any of the attempts. But this time had to be different. If i can't make this work i'll never be able to push this dog to run liek he needs to run without letting him run loose! I mount my bike. His six foot leash is wrapped around my wrist, and i'm friggin nervous. We take off. Cody instantly takes off with speed i can see the excitement in his run, but then he turns. He makes a weaving pattern right in the direction of my front tire. I stick my foot out and catch his butt forcing him back over to my left side, and we continue on. Cody becomes aware of the front tire soon after. The ride is actually going well. We are on a pretty safe road not much traffic and enough room for both of us. Then we take a left. There is a huge shoulder with about 12 feet of grass between the road and the woods. I have a bit of experience riding offroad and i fear the cars hitting us so i decide this is the best route of travel. I hop the curb following Cody enthusiastically (funny how i feel as though i am being taken out for excercise rather than vice versa). The minute we hit the grass Cody takes off. We are probaby traveling around 15 mph when he turns on the gass and takes off. I'm having trouble keeping up and he begins towing me down the shoulder. My 54 lbs dog that is 20 lbs underweight is towing my 170 lbs body on my bike through dirt and grass while i tug on his leash to get him to run to the near side of the tress and telephone poles to prevent decapitating him and de-handing me. Cody slows down to sniff a tree and i match his deceleration. He switches to my left side running behind me. The leash is now wrapped around me. I remove it from my right wrist and try to pass it around my back . Just as i release and attempt to grab it with my other hand, and i miss. Cody is now loose, again, for the second time today. He knows it. He takes off. I start peddaling my ass off. I finally catch up to him after a 50 yard sprint. Now i just have to figure out how the hell i'm going to get the leash back in my hands. I decide my best bet is an old fashioned horse trick. Riders would switch mount on their horse so that their feet were hanging off both sides. So i hop over the bike and place my right leg on the left peddal. Then the horse back rider would reach over and grab the waiting person and throw them onto the back of the horse. Now of course this would have to be modified a little bit. I had to grab a leash, that was being dragged 3 feet behind my dog and traveling around 20 mph. Now i have tried to pick things up while riding my bicycle before. It has never ended with much success. In a split second i decide that my best bet is to dive onto the leash. I throw myself forward and launch into the air. I see the leash coming closer and closer. I'm right on top of it. I'm smashing into the ground and the leash is passing through my hand. My genitals are contacting something hard and round, that doens't belong to me, and it hurts.