holy state of change

I have been through the wringer in the past two weeks. It started like this. I watched Office Space over at Sam and Meriecha's. As I was walking home I felt wholly conflicted about my continuing state of displeasure at work. I had been trying to quit there for as long as I had been working there (which is no small task. try having a job and wanting to quit the whole time you are there and not do it). So finally I realized that it had been going on quite long enough. So I gave my two weeks, meanwhile my lease at my apartment was about to run out. Originally the homeowner was going to come into two for two weeks or so, and for that time I would have to move out, and then I would be able to move back in. So I called the property management company and asked them if the homeowner's plan had remained the same. She said she contact the home owner and then get back to me, three weeks roll by and here I am with my two week notice in and I FINALLY track down the property management lady and get the answer that the homeowner is coming Dec.17th, and is staying until January 22nd!!! Quite a bit longer. So I decided to start looking for a place. I'm going through the paper and I have an epiphany. For the amount of money that it would cost me to get a new place in Jackson, I could move to San Francisco. I dismiss it as over the top at first. But then find myself thinking about it more and more. Until finally I decide I'm doing it, and oh yeah the day after I gave my two weeks I applied for a job with the high school as a paraprofessional in a Special Ed classroom. So I put a bunch of stuff up for sale on Ebay, and setup a yard sale. My boss Marni says she'll take cody for me, and I start looking at places and housing in San Fran. Then I get a phone call from the job I applied to, and they want to interview me. Which is sweet, out of all the jobs I've applied for I've gotten interviews for very few. I go to the interview and they are excited, and I'm excited and they offer me a position. And I take it. So now I'm staying in Jackson.

There have been two interesting things about all this: the friend that I've been meeting lately are so CONTRASTING compared to the people I was friend with at my old job, it is so GREAT!! You really don't know how miserable the people aroung you are until you're removed from them and around nice people again, and then you feel surprised when people do something nice for you just because, and they don't want something out of you for it, etc.

But cody... that has been the hardest thing I've had to do in years. I know it's for the better right now. I know I need this perspective, and that if I do take him back I want to never take him for granted ever again! I have not been being fair to him at all. And worst of all, I've been scape goating him when things in my life were going wrong, and I want to make sure that changes.