Dog named stupid

So my stupid dog ran away again. I mean I guess he's not really stupid, but he is really frustrating the crap out of me. He needs so much attention and so much time, and I just feel like I don't have it. I barely feel like I have enough time just to get through each day, let alone take care of another being who's totally dependent on me.

I don't know what to do.

I let him out tonight to go to the bathroom, and a lady was walking her dog by the street. Cody ran out to them, then I called him. He started to come back then bolted off into the darkness. Everytime he does this I find myself wondering if this will be the last time. If some disaster will find him, and he'll be taken away...

I feel guilty for feeling this way. I know I feel this was because I don't know how to deal with the burden that I feel like it puts on me, but I don't think it's fair to fantasize about the death of something you love.